Salvador Dali, 1930 I'll damn well scratch my way if I have to
I'm done with this grey, low-hanging compression
Trusting my reach and my own range of motion
I scrape angry fingers across the sky
I'm done with the grey, low-hanging compression
Sick with the sight of my ankles and feet
I scrape angry fingers across the sky
Then dig out the blue and save it for later
Sick with the sight of my ankles and feet
I'm done with this supposed low-pressure system
I'll dig out the blue and save it for later
Shove it down in my pocket where no one can reach it
I'm done with this supposed low-pressure system
I'm grabbing the higher to keep for myself
I'll shove it down in my pocket where no one can touch it
Or crunch it under my heel to show it who's boss
This is my first poem written in response to a prompt from Big Tent Poetry. This week's prompt was to write a pantoum, which was also a first for me. It's good to be back!
The Dali fits perfectly with the words. I wonder if this was what he was thinking as he painted it.
ReplyDeleteHad to look up Pantoum. Very interesting especially the back and forthness of it. Will have to read more of this form to really get it. Love the Dali!
ReplyDeleteThis is great, Erin! You also did a nice job with the form. I liked the way this poem had many meanings...it could be about depression as well as crappy weather!
ReplyDeletePS - Welcome to the circus!
Erin
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to see you back and I can feel the anger in this piece!
Pamela
Oh my Erin, you are angry! You need some sun.
ReplyDeleteGreat writing as usual.
xoxo
Oh my Erin, you are angry, you need some sun!
ReplyDeletegreat writing as usual. xoxo
Annie--the prompt asked us to write about anger, so I channeled as much of it as I could. :0)
ReplyDeleteFlaubert--it's nice to be back! Glad you could feel it.
Cynthia--Supposedly, anger is the flip side of depression, so that's what I was trying to show. Thanks! I enjoyed the form--did you?
Tina--I had fun the this form. I think I'll be working with it more.
Stan Ski--Thanks. I didn't overthink the Dali--it just seemed right. Glad you thought so, too.
Welcome to the Big Tent, Erin!!
ReplyDeleteI liked how the poem could be read on many levels, too, and the great first and last lines.
Hi Erin -- good to meet you. You've channeled anger, no doubt. These two lines will stay with me:
ReplyDeleteI scrape angry fingers across the sky
Then dig out the blue and save it for later
Stunning. Thanks.
It's good to have you back, Erin! This is a great pantoum. I don't think I've ever read an angry one before--but this works. You can feel the fingers pushing against the sky, and against the form.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back :). The visuals here are amazing, making that blue sky seem so tangible.
ReplyDeleteHi Erin,
ReplyDeleteYour words are a good fit with the picture. It would be good to be able to keep a bit of the blue for later. Hope you weren't too angry or depressed when you wrote it! :0)