Scraps (NaPoWriMo Day 2)

Jeez, I can’t believe you’re so short!

You say,

As you press your nose to my forehead,

Your hands to my shoulders,

And look down at me.

I feign annoyance,

But press closer, and hope for more.

Starved as I am

For your touch—

I scramble for any scrap of attention

And am not above resorting to cheap tricks to get it,
Like buying you red velvet cupcakes from Fred Meyer
Just to have you put your arm around me and say,

Oh my God, you’re the best mom ever.

It’s pathetic, I know, but you need to understand

What you did for me:

Your birth allowed me to renew

My mommy card for a little longer--

To be assured of kisses and finger paintings

Well into my thirties—

And I am grateful.

As I watch you

Struggle to shrug me off

I know I need to remember

That none of this is your fault.

My inability to untangle

Your growing up

With the winding down
Of my motherhood

Is not your problem.

So I promise to try and suck it up

And forgive you

For no longer being

The boy who runs towards my touch,
And hugs me in front of his friends,

And whispers to me,

Mom even when I am old and married

I promise to still live with you
On weekends so we can hang out.