This is in response to this week's readwritepoem prompt #82.
I swat away the
staccato cravings you
bounce off my
carefully partitioned
brain
staccato cravings you
bounce off my
carefully partitioned
brain
Once in a while I back
you into corners but
I’m too afraid of the
dark
to go in
and get you
Some nights I wake,
startled by your
pulsing between my
palms,
a hummingbird,
bloated with wanting and
worry
Seems I can
never hold you
for long, but oh, just
once
I’d like to put
my finger right
on you and
turn your
buzzing into
vibrato,
bravely drag
my bow against
your wings
and force your
notes out
into the air
and make you
sing.
you into corners but
I’m too afraid of the
dark
to go in
and get you
Some nights I wake,
startled by your
pulsing between my
palms,
a hummingbird,
bloated with wanting and
worry
Seems I can
never hold you
for long, but oh, just
once
I’d like to put
my finger right
on you and
turn your
buzzing into
vibrato,
bravely drag
my bow against
your wings
and force your
notes out
into the air
and make you
sing.
Hi Erin,
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen this prompt to know just what the theme is. You are very good at creating these "abstract" thoughts and images. I have posted a poem today. Rather sombre subject but it came to me!
Well, the prompt was a bit abstract, so I just decided to see where it would take me. It asked us to respond to the idea of a "humunculus."
ReplyDeleteBravo!
ReplyDeleteErin, this is wonderful. And you do make it sing!
ReplyDeleteErin, this is wonderful. You do know how to sing!
ReplyDelete"and turn your buzzing into vibrato" = what I'd like to do with my thoughts sometimes
ReplyDeleteSo evocative!
Tag! Stop by for your royal award!
ReplyDeleteI like how your homunculus became a humming 'bird'of sorts! nice read.
ReplyDeleteMusical terminology is always very effective
ReplyDeleteespecially words like staccato!
Maybe all of us have a little man (woman) inside us that doesn't join in the song since it does not know how to sing. Well done, Erin.
ReplyDeleteVery well thought out and thought provoking as well.
ReplyDeleteerin, "carefully partitioned brain" a favorite line. very personified poem with a strong concept. those ending lines are very selfish, but no worries, so am i. enjoyed -lawrence
ReplyDeleteWonderful phrases. I liked too many things about this!
ReplyDeleteabstracting
ds and Annie--Thank you! I wasn't sure about this one...
ReplyDeleteKathleen--yes! That's exactly what I was trying to convey here. Scary that you get it?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angie. I wasn't planning on the humming bird; he just sort of appeared!
ReplyDeleteralletanda-Thank you. I really like what you did with your poem this week!
ReplyDeleteDonald--thank you! My little man/woman inside me just buzzes. I wrote the poem to express my desire to make her sing or speak clearly. :0)
ReplyDeletestrattonm and Guatami--Thank you. Your kind feedback means a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteDonald-my carefully partitioned brain can indeed be selfish. Glad you picked up on that. :0)
ReplyDeletedelightful....especially the start "swat away staccato cravings"....we have just come out of the garden swatting moooooooooosquitos...now craving a kewl beer
ReplyDeleteOhhh, Erin.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at Staccato Cravings....
(JulieJordanScott from ReadWritePoem. I can't, for whatever reason, use my Typepad ID!)
There were some good phrases in this..."staccato cravings", "a hummingbird bloated with wanting and worry", "turn your buzzing into vibrato". I enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDelete-Nicole
Mutiny in Six Parts