Sunday, April 19, 2009

Lids


Today's napowrimo prompt from readwritepoem asked us to write about friendship...


We sat cross legged
Knees to knees
And painted our dreams
On the lids of each other’s
Eyes

We had no need
For subtle shades
Saw no merit in earthtones
Our wants were young
And glaring

I painted on you
Exotic purples
And wished for
Glamour

You painted on me
The brightest
Shades of aqua
And blue

I had no need to voice
My wish aloud
Or ask what my
Canvassed eyelids
Said to you

9 comments:

  1. Yes, that is how friendship goes for young girls at a certain age, and you caught it exactly!

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  2. This is wonderful, Erin. "Our wants were young and glaring.." is perfect..

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  3. Erin, Well done using concrete images! I think you could extend this poem and go deeper into the moment. Your images conjure up youthful days of playing with make-up... ah, to be a little girl again! The last stanza sums it up nicely, but I would love to see more after that. Great take on the prompt.

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  4. ds and Gavin--Thank you!

    Mallery--Thank you for the advice. I think I will definitely play with this more. I had more to the poem, but what I had seemed only to serve to overexplain it. I'll revisit it again!

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  5. I love how your concrete images draw me in as though I'm sitting there watching the scene. Thanks for this.

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  6. Fabulous!
    "...Our wants were young/and glaring..." My favorite line.

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  7. Thought provoking -- how this youthful face painting is a form of socialization and expression.

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  8. I'm glad you're going to revisit this poem! I think it screams for more too. How long were you friends? Are you still friends today? Was it carried through to teenage years? Did you fight over boys? Or did you each agree to not love the same one?

    Sorry I'll stop LOL. GREAT thinking poem!

    http://lori102870.blogspot.com/2009/04/special-onesnapowrimo-19by-me.html

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  9. Liz, JGC, and Phil, thank you!

    Lori--we are not still friends; we grew apart in high school, but she holds a special place in my heart, and I often wonder how she is doing.

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